I don’t know if LOVE is already in the air because I’ve been brainstorming some cute Valentine photo shoot ideas, if I’m a lovey dovey blushing bride to be, it was sent down special just for me or if I just got lucky? But I’m just glad it’s in the air.
I must start by confessing that I feel as though I’ve been running low on creativity. Maybe it’s the weather turning chilly that has me lacking in motivation…maybe my brain is hibernating for the winter…the hectic holiday season…..But whatever the case may be…. Today was an even more tough and challenging day for this photographer. With it being a hectic day and everything outside looking a lil drab I just wasn’t sure what I was gonna be able to catch for a muse.
They say that time heals all things….I’m not sure that I believe it heals more than I believe that time allows us to learn how to cope with the sadness and the void that is there when the people we love aren’t here on earth to share in all the festivities of life with us.
My dad would have turned 52. He is having a Happy Happy Heaven Birthday and I ate a cupcake this a.m. to start the day off with a celebration!! It doesn’t usually feel like it’s been 9 years since we lost him…..although some days though it feels like it’s been a lifetime without him.
I wanted to start the day off right and make it a happy one!!! Remembering all the little things I enjoyed with my dad – like when we’d go to “check cows”, how I’d unroll the tootsie roll wrappers from his favorite candies so he’d eat them until finally he would say “OK Dustie Bill that’s enough! I can’t eat anymore Tootsie Rolls I’m gonna be sick” and how when I close my eyes I can still hear that loud, smart-alecky laugh that I think I miss the most!
I remember that one of the last cards I have from him is from Valentine’s Day and I keep it on my desk at home because it’s one of the first and only times he’d ever written down something so mushy for me. He didn’t have to tell me how he felt because I already knew but I am so thankful that I have that card as a token to hold in my hand and read and re-read when I need to be reminded.
I also remember that the same year he bought my mom a red leather heart jewelry box (because he knew how much she loved the holiday and red hearts) thanking her for her friendship and the way she’d raised me through the years (even though they’d been divorced from almost 18 years.) I remember cow dogs, toothpicks and haulin hay. I wiped away some tears this morning on my way to work remembering all kinds of things and maybe a few more were shed when I turned on the radio and heard Troubadour by George Straight!!!
But then I saw it….on my way to work…..the first one……a heart….burnt up in the wood fence post from the fire that took place a couple months ago, I’ve driven by it a million times before but today, there it was, plain as day to me and my eye…I snapped it.
Went to get lunch and to what did my wondering eyes appear? Another one….is this a sign?!?….It made me smile…..
And then as I was wrapping up my editing on the last photo session I had there are these two hearts that make my heart happy happy and since third time is a charm I must believe in my heart that they were signs sent here just for me!
Happy Birthday TJB, I guess you got my birthday messages today because your replies had me smiling! Always in my heart!
Sparkle and Spur
“There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.” – Author Unknown
“Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.” – Author Unknown